Why is being reactive bad for you?

Being reactive damages yourself rather than others. When somebody insults you and you react, you demonstrate that you are willing to fight them to show them that you don’t agree with their view of you. This shows that person has now challenged how you feel about yourself. If you are sitting in a secure place of self-love, you do not need anybody’s approval. When you react, you allow the other person’s view of you to dominate your own perspective of yourself.

If you are not seated in a place of self-love, any insult that comes your way will first be felt in your body as a sensation and then be translated by your conditioned mind into mental words that involve some sort of defensiveness or anger. “It shouldn’t be like this; I need to show them that they are wrong”. The reaction driven by this defensiveness then gets directed outwards towards the offender.

As you gradually master your state of continual presence via body awareness, the feeling of peace that arises cannot be shaken by anyone. You will feel the turmoil from their comments in the form of sensations in the body, for example, swirling energy, increased heart rate, rising heat from the stomach to the neck and face. When you feel this, you can choose how you respond, if at all. Not responding to negativity can be the most powerful response, as it leaves the insult at its source, and in some cases can even make the perpetrator question their own motives. If their insult contains truth and you know an apology is necessary, you will find it easier to apologise from that grounded state, find forgiveness for yourself quickly, and then move on with the knowledge you will genuinely try to correct your behaviour. After all, we are all learning all the time, forgiveness is the first step, and nobody should ever have power over how you feel about yourself!